Studies of children of parents with serious illness show that the children know much more than the parents think. Parents tell researchers that they have successfully shielded their children from the stress of their illness, then the children of those parents describe what’s going on in great detail, and tell researchers that they figured it out by overhearing phone conversations, listening to their parents communications with one another, noticing letters and medications, etc.
So children do know what’s going on, but because of lack of indirect communication, they often have lots of wrong information, which is much worse than having correct information
Talk abot the nature of the illness, disability, what the future will hold - both good and bad -
And most importantly, answer their questions
But don’t overdo it - remember developmental level - don’t overwhelm
