from The Renaissance Philosophy of
Man, ed. Ernst Cassirer, Paul Oskar Kristeller and John Herman
Randall.
For educational use only.
A SELF-PORTRAIT
by Francesco Petrarca
From a letter to Francesco Bruni, papal secretary in Avignon [Milan],
October 25, I362. (Sen., I, 6 [5], in Opera [Basel, 1554],p. 824;
[1581], p. 745)
YOU make an orator of me, a historian, philosopher, and
poet, and finally even a theologian. You would certainly
not do so if you were not persuaded by one whom it is hard to
disbelieve: I mean Love. Perhaps you might be excused if you did
not extol me with titles so overwhelmingly great: I do not deserve
to have them heaped on me. But let me tell you, my friend, how
far I fall short of your estimation. It is not my opinion only;
it is a fact: I am nothing of what you attribute to me. What am
I then? I am a fellow who never quits school,(1) and not even
that, but a backwoodsman who is roaming around through the lofty
beech trees all alone, humming to himself some silly little tune,
and--the very peak of presumption and assurance--dipping his shaky
pen into his inkstand while sitting under a bitter laurel tree.
I am not so fortunate in what I achieve as passionate in my work,
being much more a lover of learning than a man who has got much
of it. I am not so very eager to belong to a definite school of
thought; I am striving for truth. Truth is difficult to discover,
and, being the most humble and feeble of all those who try to
find it, I lose confidence in myself often enough. So much do
I fear to become entangled in errors that I throw myself into
the embrace of doubt instead of truth. Thus I have gradually become
a proselyte of the Academy(2) as
_______
1. [In the word scholasticus so many meanings are united (school
student, scholar), that it cannot well be endered by a single
word in a modern language.]
2. [On the skeptical outcome of the New Academy, Petrarca got
information from Cicero's philosophical writings, especially from
_______
34
one of the big crowed as thc very last of this humble flock: I
do not believe in my faculties, do not affirm anything, and doubt
every single thing, with the single exception of what I believe
is a sacrilege to doubt.
_______
Academica posteriora. There he found Cicero saying (i. 12. 46)
that in Plato's books nothing is finely stated and much discussed
"in both directions" (in utramque partem).]
_______
35